It’s been a tough year.  My brother has oral cancer and I’ve been his main caregiver.  Endless doctor’s appointments, chemotherapy and radiation.  Last week he had ten hour surgery to remove the cancer and insert radioactive seeds.  It was brutal surgery and the entire process exhausted me.

Meanwhile my father-in-law has been declining over the past few years.  He was in his late eighties and lives right behind us.  He had a large number of health problems.  Since I’m retired I became his primary caregiver and as time passed it took up more and more of my time.  He started getting palliative care but they did very little.  Then last week I was done.  He had begun getting severe headaches and we had to take him by ambulance to the hospital.  Found he had a mass in his brain.  We began hospice.  A few days later I found him dead.

I am exhausted.  Now that my brother is in recovery and he is gone it is time to get my health back.  I’ve gained weight and feel my age for the first time in my life.

Spring will be here soon and I will be on the bike.  I’m sixty now and feel as though I’m running out of time.